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My Story


All my life I have had one dedication; to explore the beauty and abundance of this planet.


As a pioneer, I have taken the steps into the insights that are guiding me, wherever they lead.


The content of this book, using duality in another way, started naturally when I was five years old. The age when we live so close to our Divine origin.


One Easter morning I sat with my three year older brother, at each side of the kitchen table, drawing and painting. My brother was talented and drawing a burning car at full speed, and I painted some kids with hair in different colours, striped in various patterns.


My father and mother were in the room, and my mother burst out, “Oh you kids are so talented you could be artists!”


And my father replied, “Not Cesilia (it was my name at that time), but maybe Stefan (my brother).”

Something strange happened there and then.


I got so sad.


Not in the way you’d expected from a situation like that.


A film was shown in front of me, picturing my heart being taken out of my body.


I understood that I was an artist. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t exist.


Art has always been my destiny. Art ever since then, has always been my life.


This was my first memory of how a film takes place inside of me. As a whole chain of information, when I come to a threshold.


A film starts with the present scenario and then shifts angles to continue filming from another standpoint. All happening in one flash.


In my daily life, whenever someone asks me a question, I answer with knowledge that seems so much wiser than I am.


Especially in my darkest moments. I clearly sensed how another part of myself is watching me and all of the drama, without emotions, with a calm loving joy. A parallel self, never afraid of dying or of any threat.


It is not until now, being in shamanic studies, and before that being able to read, and realign souls in the Akashic records, that I can sort out my operating system.


Purifying the spheres of my oversoul, that carries karma, I came to the point of meeting my Higher Self, that was the one.


The parallel self, that always had the biggest impact on my choices in life.


Making my way of living different than the way I was taught to live, from family and society.


Later on in life this is the gift that makes me shift realities with the understanding that I am constantly guided.


I am now able to sort out, which ideas are me personally, and what comes from my Higher Self or guidance from elsewhere.


Depression was a part of my education; as well as the discovery of every other human condition in all its forms. The beingness, sublimations, transformations and transmutations and the limits beyond the limits.


At the age of 14, I started my “career” as a tennis coach, combined with normal school.


This made it easy to skip the ordinary 40-hour work week when I finished my 12 years of school.

I used the time to explore the arts in different fields, including sports… and it increased in variety as a designer, scenographer[1], performances, exhibitions at halls of art and an international surrealistic show of garments.


My grandmother and I had one day a week together in nature. She taught me the Nordic traditions of the wild wood, and its treasures of wisdom and harvest. My connection with her balanced my multidimensional inner life.


I travelled around the world in search of belonging, not feeling at home in my city or country.

During this time my close friend who was travelling with me came into mental illness and committed suicide. My world fell apart like a house of cards.


Filled with guilt and grief, afraid of my own power I met the father of my soon-to-be daughter.

A life in total misery unfolded for the next four years.


Experiencing the deep shadow of being without boundaries. Somehow during the four years, I reached fame both as an artist and for my coaching, becoming a head coach.


I entered the outskirts of duality, a double life. One beaten and torn down, and the other one in magical mastery.


The guides were working with me so powerfully in these times of pressure, I finally got the strength to leave with only my daughter in tow.


A new start from zero. After many court trials, I got my daughter and I got a hidden address, with a ruling he is not to be in contact with me.


10 years of a hidden address, was a time living with minimal resources, money, friends or space to move in a normal way.


With creativity I found pathways to still live in my inner reality, following the dreams that were unfolding.


With minimal options, I was guided. It made me safe; forever knowing that all will work out.


My healing tools were creativity, planetary sounds, stones, being in love with my daughter and responsibility for her, and restoring an old house, that was without water and electricity, to live in.

Starting a new life from scratch.


The father of my daughter would often find where we were usually resulting in our address being uncovered. However, due to my inner guidance, I would have a knowing of where to be and where not to be.


This code I had started to already use before my escape, making leaving possible. I had to stop having an energetic cord with this man. When I left, I shifted my outer appearance and vibration.

My daughter and I were in a state that needed many many years to recover, and with the involvement of the Government’s Social Services Department, became a new burden to endure.


I had to drop my personal way of dressing, and instead, try to fit into the norms. To be accepted into their view of reality was a new challenge for me.


When my art was in an exhibition travelling around Scandinavia, I got work as a guerilla marketer at the hall of art in the new city, my life started on a new ride.


Different assignments led me to work with new ideas for a small city. At one point, I was working on planning a new structure for the city, that had grown out of its old structures.


It seemed to me, that life wanted me to understand the laws of our society. I was in touch with the rulers of society, politics and officials, and saw the small results coming from the brilliant work of the people.


I experienced how nobody at the top really cared about more than position, innate structures and power. I saw that they didn’t have the ability to execute the work that they were talking about doing.


By that stage, I changed my focus, working as a consultant in companies with the mission to make the different specialities of knowledge collaborate with each other, making results greater than the input.


I wanted the ideas to shine with inspiration, vision and overcome ignorance.


This took me to different positions as a writer of educational conceptions, used by the community, teaching workshops, working as the lead coach (after an ICF [2]coaching degree) with their teams and various assignments on boards.


Finally as a collaborator in a small team creating a brand for the Education of Entrepreneurship curriculum for a university.


While at the same time running a refugee camp with 12 different nationalities and their different religions all living in the same house. We became a family that taught me so much.


The investigation of entrepreneurship, combined with the investigation of religions took me beyond the academic, and into writing books. As this book is my third.


Through the wisdom of guided writings, I came to understand the healing power of sound at a deeper level. The origin of Creation. The hidden structure that has always been guiding my way, became visible. The new occupation as a sound healer unfolded itself, and with that, guided meditations, retreats and workshops formed by the content in my books.


Finally coming home within myself and my mission, I encountered Lou Reed and her brilliant work through Energy Medicine Institute (EMI). Nothing was missing from my guidance, and I could finally relax, becoming a student of EMI´s energy healing and Shamanic Sage wisdom, and merging it with my previous skills and experiences.


This book is a result of combining my two previous books, with the theme of Divine Duality, and my guidance from Katrena Friel, the Business Mentor at EMI.


During my writing with a strict time deadline, I was taken into a typhoon of information day and night from my guides. My job was to be physically stable, allowing it to come into form, right till the end. My higher self, created the structure through me.


I am happy, that this time, I have Katrena helping me, taking it further, making it easier to grasp. To ensure the content meets the needs of human life on Earth.

[1] A scenographer or production designer, develops the appearance of a stage design, a TV or movie set, a gaming environment, a trade fair exhibition design or a museum experience exhibition design. The term originated in theatre. [2] International Coaching Federation (ICF)

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